Ferret Inspiration

Today I received  inspiration to write again.

Here's what my awakenings look like:

Since I'm ridiculously gifted in parking(both in the front seat and back), it wasn't placed on my vehicle. When this little gem caught my attention, I meddled my way to the car in front of me.

Should I take it? Leave it? Was the parking worth the card?

The car was positively guilty, so I left it with slight hesitation.

What if this card was somebody's final straw? I know my breaking points are far less circumstantial.

I sporadically muse over that odd phenomenon; why I can keep my cool through shattered glass(literally) and come unglued when crumbs hit the kitchen floor.

I assume it's a coping mechanism, and our brain goes into precise zombie killing mode when needs be. But other times...

The tension sneaks up on you like a crazed ferret searching for  blind- folded eyes and a feeble guard. The sly weasel then metamorphosis into an unmoving white minivan and a near freeway exit being missed.

SNAP! Your uncooperative, nonsensical brain's been invaded.

Privates are clawed and dignity seiged, when the only escape is a foolish one: like flipping the bird.

Super lame and completely cliche',

 unlike my newly formed metaphor.{wink}

If the card had looked like this, I would have taken it without hesitation.

Any sensible adult should know that
#1 you should never eat twinkies or dingdongs,
     and
#2. you can get your point across without being a total douch bag.

 I had a long, drawn out talk with my kids about the difference of being aggressive, assertive, passive aggressive, and passive. The same thing goes with drivers. there are three types of drivers:

1.The a** hole driver
2. The respectful driver
    and
3. The idiot driver

To prove that lessons can be taught with character(and they need to be taught, because how will we ever learn?) I decided to make my own parking card.

 Even though the "ferret" card delivers truth with humor, it's still a bit borderline passive aggressive- and I would rather pull out each eyelash one by one, then be in daily contacts with a confirmed passive aggressive.

There's no reason to beat around the bush in a demeaning manor.(I hate that term, but I'm forced to use it for lack of originality)

First off, I must replace the ferret with a lizard since:
 A. I do not wish to plagiarize,
      and
 B. There's a greater chance a lizard's going to be on my lap, since Dracula(my pet bearded dragon) is my homeboy, comrade, and accomplice. If I had a motorcycle side car, he'd be next to me with goggles and a helmet. If anyone's going to claw my privates, it's gonna be Dracula(or Dean, or let's be honest, all 3 of my kids who've climbed on (exposed) me in church, like I'm a freakin playground).

                                                        Enjoy, happy parking.